Does anyone know what it is that happens to the human mind, when they transport themselves by airplanes? There seems to be a kind of lemming-like spirit to them, as if they deposited their brains in their luggage before they got onto the plane.

It is most explicit on landing, where only a minor group of the passengers understands the message about not getting up from your seats until the Capt. has turned of the tighten seatbelt sign, and the plane comes to a complete standstill.

When we flew to Italy, I was surprised at seeing the number of people not adhering to this message, getting up before the sign had been turned of, getting extremely ready to leave the plane. And you know it is not because they don't like flying, because the ones who are so worried about flying are usually strung out on tranquilizers and half a sleep at this stage.

Why is it so important to get of the airplane as #1? One obvious reason could be to get luggage fast, and get the hell outta dodge, but guess what, it doesn't work that way. Flying from Frankfurt-Hahn to Pisa we had a situation that had me laughing. This business-looking guy leaped from the plane as #1 and getting up before the sign had been turned off and all, he was already attending his cell phone before he left the plane [I'll get to that later]. Iben and I just sat down and let all the lemmings get out, so we were the last to leave the plane. As we got to the luggage belt, the luggage hadn't even started to come out, and there was a rim of people all around the conveyor belt. We got a trolley for our luggage and lined up along the wall, waiting for the luggage to come out. Mr. business-man was in the front line of the rim around the belt, eagerly awaiting the arrival of his Armani suits I gather.

Guess who got their luggage first, sucker.

And on the cell phone business. I understand business people need to be on the edge, keeping contacts updated on their whereabouts, and getting the latest stock quotes and such. But we flew Ryan Air, how important a business person can you be when you fly Ryan Air? And it wasn't only the suits who had their cell phone burning in their pockets before they left the plane, regular people too. I mean, what sort of incredibly important message do you need to get through the minute the plane sets down?